Caregiving Rodeo

  Naturally, I get discouraged and angry at times. Sometimes I speak strongly to my mother simply to get her to follow instructions. I would be embarrassed if anybody heard me talking to her like that, but it gets the job done faster.  Still, the worst is when I am angry at myself for losing my cool. Then I have to use some of the sayings that I've come up with. Here are a couple of my favorites. It doesn't have to be perfect. I don't have to be perfect. Another thing I do is follow some groups on Facebook that are about caregiving and memory loss. That helps me to put things in perspective--other people are going through the same thing or much worse. I don't belong to any in-person support groups, but I have a very supportive brother that I can share things with.  And lastly, I have help. Twice a week, a helper comes from an agency to take Mom out for a few hours, walking and having lunch. On the weekend, a family friend takes Mom to church, followed again by a walk an

If your loved one wanders around the house at night, or has trouble making their way to the bathroom in the dark, you might try motion-activated nightlights. I've been very happy with the way these work for my mother. I've set up a series of nightlights that come on as she nears them and serve as runway lights leading her to the bathroom.  I found this brand called Auvon which comes in both plug-in and rechargeable types. The charge lasts for months and when it runs out, I use the recharger that is included. The rechargeable lights attach with a magnetic plate. The plug-in ones are just held up by the plug, of course.  We also have a light in one of the bathrooms that always stays on and serves as an emergency flashlight if the power goes out. (Brand: Intertek.) You'll notice that the first photo in this article includes a sign with a picture. At first, I was thinking to just put labels on doors: Guest Room, Mom's Room, Bathroom, etc. But my mother doesn't process w

Snacks My mother has a good appetite but has been losing weight as she ages. She has three prepared meals a day, plus around three snacks. (I.e. she eats like a Hobbit.) Having some standard snacks on hand makes it easy for me or one of our helpers to just grab something quickly between meals. I keep a section in the fridge for Mom’s snacks: yogurt cups, applesauce, diced peaches, Mandarin oranges. And we try to keep bananas in stock in the pantry. She is also a fan of apple pie and apple Danish pantries. Putting a piece of fruit out on the kitchen island, let’s her decide when to eat it and peeling the banana or orange keeps her busy.  Beverages Advice about the elderly usually includes keeping them hydrated. We do this by leaving glasses of water in Mom’s usual places: puzzle table, side table by her easy chair, dining table. In the hot weather, I love to give her popsicles. We get real-fruit-juice popsicles from our local grocery store, so can feel glad about giving her a healthy fr

Your loved one might get some satisfaction from helping out around the house. Here are some chores that my mother has been able to do, even with diminished capability: Folding laundry Putting silverware away Pushing the dust mop around the house Weeding in the yard The job doesn't always get done right, but it's still useful to have her engaged in a task.  Towels are the easiest type of laundry for my mother to fold. When it's a mixed batch of items, she gets more confused. She will often sort things by color rather than type. But it doesn't matter that much; I can come along and sort it out later.  With silverware, I need to make sure her hands are clean first. Big and small forks usually end up mixed together, but it's not a big problem. With dust mopping, the pile of dust and the mop might end up in a strange place.  Weeding used to be such a good way to spend time together outside, but lately Mom loses the plot. She's more interesting in wandering around pic

We love jigsaw puzzles. As my mother's abilities have declined, I have replaced the more complicated puzzles with ever simpler ones: 500-piece, down to 300, 100, and even less.  These puzzles keep Mom focused and busy. That means she stays out of the way when I'm cooking. And if I want to sit down to read for a while, I can keep her happy with a puzzle. I order them from Puzzle Warehouse . These are a few of the brands/styles that work best for us.  Cobble Hill "tray" puzzles : The border is already done and the finished picture is printed in black and white to help with placement of pieces. 35 pieces. These are our favorite right now. Mind Start puzzles : Designed especially for dementia patients, featuring age-appropriate themes and large puzzles pieces. Either 63 or 24 pieces.  Springbok 36 Piece Alzheimer's Jigsaw Puzzles  : Beautiful images with super large puzzle pieces.  Children's puzzles can also work if they have these features: small number of piec

I need to know what my loved one (LO) is up to--whether she's leaving the house, whether she has gone to the bathroom, whether she is getting into things.  A motion sensor in the bathroom lets me know whether she is in there or has been in there. During the wee hours of the night, I don't keep sound notifications on all the time but I can look at the history and see what's been going on during the night. Door sensors let me know whether she has opened an exterior door, which used to be critical although now I also have security latches on those doors (see other post). Still, the door sensors are a backup in case I leave a door unlatched. A security camera that shows the living room and the kitchen lets me peek in on my LO if she is prowling while I am in my room.  These devices are linked to an app on my cell phone. I can adjust the notifications on each device individually. From within the app, I can schedule notification to be off or on during set hours of the day.  We

So that I don't forget, here is a list of topics that I'll try to cover in other posts: latches on various things adapting the activities to suit the abilities (e.g., jigsaw puzzles) suitable shoes ADA compliant house for "aging in place" medications and supplements jobbing out some of the tasks information resources drivers license and state ID card weaning them off their credit cards, then cash getting all the legal documents done ASAP: PoA, etc.  If I think of some more, I'll add them.  Some more: bedtime stories warmed-up pajamas fidget blankets light therapy motion sensors